My dating adventures just keep getting better and better, and by that I am being facetious.
Bumble hooked me up with one man I scared so bad he decided I needed to be prayed over and another who thought I’d prefer his mother’s company to his. Maybe it was time to try a different app.
I signed up for OKCupid, and talk about a cesspool of humanity! I’ve gotten quite a few likes but not many of them earned a like back from me. These guys live closer to me, but whoa! One man I talked to right off the bat shot me a laundry list of all his ailments that scared even the social worker inside of me so bad I thought about having prayer boy do an intercession. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t me dissing a man’s health issues; it’s me dissing a man who thought I would still want to meet him knowing he’s practically at death’s door.
I have also talked with Mr. Single and Monogamous who, it turns out, is neither. He’s still married, but getting divorced (insert eyeroll emoji here). He’s mentioned he has money, because all women can be easily bought, right? I work my ass off, but I have my own money thank you very much. Besides, a married man ain’t giving up no money to his side piece for fear his wife would find out about it. That type really should stick with the young and stupid women if that’s their game. Women my age know better.
I did meet a guy for coffee today. He was cute, and that kiss was mighty nice, but there wasn’t anything of substance there. He’s insinuated he’s only looking for a bit of fun, and while I’m not opposed to that I’m already starting to feel like a spoiled brat who’s leaving her toys strewn all over. I guess he could be one more though. A woman can never have too many toys.
In other news, I closed on my house today, so I am officially among those who own property. Now it’s time to get to work on this place to get it up to snuff. Perhaps I should make that a prerequisite for the online boy toys. I won’t tell your wife that you fixed my gutters. Promise!
And tomorrow I’m going to meet a dog! Actually we met last week but s/he was picked up as a stray and had to be held for a period of time before available for adoption. Tomorrow is the day. I hope we’ll be great friends, and that he’ll not be intimidated by Hissy Fit Jones.
Until next time, keep your fingers crossed that somewhere in this sea of silly men is one I might find interesting enough to hold onto awhile.
This content was originally published here.